The Watkins, Part Deux

Where were we? Ahhhh...yes, Susan and Bruce.

I met Dr Bruce in PPP, UiTM. He came as a Physchology Professor into the MUCIA/AAD Twinning Program. Susan came about a year later into the program, as a Program Advisor (if I recalled correctly).

Two years later, I got news that I was to extend my studies at the University of Michigan (Umich) in Ann Arbor, Michigan. And guess what? That's Dr Bruce's working university, and he was going to go back to the States a few months before I was to arrive.

During the PPP/UiTM graduation ceremony, your grandparents met Dr Bruce, and got to know that he's from Umich, and that he's heading home soon. So, what do you think happened? Well, Atuk and Nenek basically "handed" the parental responsibility to Dr Bruce and Susan, with dialogs such as the ones below:

"Please keep an eye on Rosma and make sure she studies well, and not go gallavanting around".

"We give you full rights to drag her back home if she doesn't listen to your advice"

Sigh. Well that was then.

October 15th 1994, my housemates and I landed in Chicago O'Hare. Five days later, in Ann Arbor Michigan.

As instructed, I made a phone call to Susan. (or was it your Aunt Tasneem?). And from there on, we were treated as family. They were never too parental on us, but we always felt assured that they were there to make sure we were okay.

I house-sat (and cat-sat, Bob, their cat,) when the Watkins went away for vacation and Christmas holidays. They actually let me use Dr Bruce's Nissan Sunny station wagon, "10SMAN" during the time I had to house-sit. The fridge was always well-stocked. Overall, made sure the house-sitter was well taken care off.

On my graduation, they came. They gave me a Umich gold ring, with their names engraved at the back. I still wear it with a chain around my neck.

After my return to Malaysia in 1996, Dr Bruce came back to Malaysia on a Fullbright fellowship program. He stayed on for another tow years I think. Susan came too for a short while.

Its been almost 16 years, and I will never forget the kindness, warmth and trust they have shared with me.

To Bruce and Susan... THANK YOU.

The Watkins

[Susan Pollay and Dr Bruce Watkin in Paris]

The Watkins are more than just friends. They are my family while I was studying in Ann Arbor, Michigan. More stories on them soon. Have to move my car from the parking now....

Missing Your Grandmother

Not a day passes by that I don't miss your grandmother, so this post is dedicated to her.

Mak,

I cannot wish that you are still around, because the fact of the matter is, you are with Allah now. I can just say, that I miss you very-very much. I know everyone misses you.

Ayah, still sometimes call out your name without even realizing.

Abang, misses you all the time too. In his own way, he yearns for you. I know.

I miss all the afternoon phone calls you use to make, just to ask me what to cook for dinner that day.

I miss seeing you seated where you normally seat to watch tv.

I miss you calling out to us to tell us you're going upstairs to rest.

I miss seeing you seated in-front of the kitchen sink while you prepare stuff to cook.

I miss seeing you seated at the edge of your bed waiting for Isya' prayer.

Cannot continue with this post...need to clear off my tears.

Letting Go...

Letting go. It's not easy to do.

Letting go of a favourite soft toy.

Letting go of a cassette tape of a favourite rock band (in the era of discs and DVDs)

Letting go of loved ones.

Letting go of grudges.

Even when it comes to...letting go of sad memories...

I have my share of the above. Seems silly though somehow, but humans being humans, we hang on to even silly things. I know one day, I will have to let go of you. I will have to let you make and live by your own choices, and trust that you will make good choices, for that matter. It will be hard, but it will be necessary.

But if there is one thing I have learnt in my life so far, letting go can be good not just for me, but also for the person being let go of, especially. So my love, I will not teach you on how to let go, but you will learn this skill yourself through your own life experiences.

Shadows on Walls

Where I am seated, I can see the shadows of trees casted on the walls of the Sime Darby Medical Center (SJMC). The shadows shall move down slowly till none is casted, and by that time darkness would have engulfed the surroundings signalling night time. Of course the area would still be bright, lit by the road lamps lined up along SJMC. I hope by then, I am already at home with you, and perhaps having dinner with your father.

This time next week, Thursday would be the last working day as Friday is a public holiday due to Deepavali. Your Tok and Tok Wan are planning to visit, and we may be doing some short trips around KL.

Its been a long day, and I do so look forward for home now. See you soon sweetheart.

Taking Up The Challenge

Life is about taking challenges, facing them head-on and say, I will overcome it successfully. But, if I fumble, its not the end of the world. I shall get up and go on with life.

No such thing as an easy life. If there were, I would not be writing this blog, trying to ease the stress off of my mind. The entry may seem non-sensical at this point, as I type and type without seeing the end of it. But, that's okay too.

I am still at the office. No one else around, except perhaps one guys with prescription glasses at the other row of cubicle, nodding his head slowly as he reads some application scripts with enjoyment. The empty chairs and tables provide a sense of stillness that is almost surreal because tomorrow, I shall be facing the same table and chairs again and repeat the cycle of work all over again.

I am off to pick you up now Khadijah. Yes you. All 2 years old of you.

Love,

Mama

Friendships

Friends are people who don't assume, because they know who you really are.

Friends are people who are distant, yet always near.

Friends are people who don't judge.

Friends are people who tell you their opinions, not force them on you.

Good friends are hard to come by. You may have to learn it the hard way, as everyone has. But I know sometime in your life, you will come to know good hearted people whom you can depend on as much as your own family (or perhaps even more). When you have found these kind hearted souls, never ill treat them or betray their trust in you. Make sure you cherish them and always support each other. I have a few handfuls, some near, some far away making a living. Though we don't always hear each other's voices, we know we are in each other's hearts.