A Fresh New Start

I have been pouring out feelings and emotions into this blog for more than a year.  And I have to admit it was to help me deal with me losing your Nenek.

As time goes by, I feel that is not right this memoir for you is filled with sad, longing entries, when there are so much more for you to know and have as a keepsake of me.

So today, I vowed to make this blog as lively as you are today.

Thank You Allah SWT for making me realize that I never really lose my Mak as memories of her really lives in my mind everyday.  And for giving me the strength to really LIVE for the ones I have today. 

Subhanallah.

Nenek

I feel like writing today, hence a second post for the day.

All the experience with Mak Mi brings back fond memories of your Nenek.  

Today, I miss her most (this won't be the last time).

I miss her laughter. Her funny sms-es  sent during late afternoons while I am at work.  I miss her glaring at me because I think I've done something funny (when it's not). I miss her freshly showered smell.  I miss rubbing her back. I miss her afternoon phone calls asking me what she should cook for dinner.

I miss her.

Mak, we all miss you.  May Allah grant you Jannah, and may He grants us our request to meet you in the Afterlife.

Mak and Ahmad Danial at 8 months old

Baba's Pillar of Strength

A special post for a special lady.



Hajjah Aminah aka Mak Mi is your Baba's grandma.  Ever since I got to know him, her name is mentioned whenever raising your dad is the topic of conversation.  She is strict, yet loving and endearing.  She is the matriarch to your Baba's family.

Your Baba loves her dearly. That I can see in his eyes and of how he speaks of her.

At this date, she is not in her best of health.  Laying down in bed most times, she looks up only to sometime recognize and sometime forget who is in front of her.  

Tok Tam and family is currently taking over the task of looking after her.  All this while, Tok Bik has been her faithful companion at their home in Kulim.  But because of the extra special care she needs now, being weak and all, she is currently with Tok Tam in Penang.  Being an ex-nurse Tok Tam has the skills to care for elderly people like Mak Mi.  We thank both Tok Bik and Tok Tam from the bottom of our hearts for their dedication thus far.

We've been spending the long 3-days Malaysia Day 2012 weekend with her.  Baba is most concern about her health and left Penang that Sunday with a heavy heart.  I could not bear to see him say good-bye, as his eyes tells me of the sadness he felt that moment, not knowing if this was the last time he'd be able to talk and jest with his beloved grandma again.

Mak Mi, we pray for your well-being always, and trust in the will of God for all of us.

Love,
Rosma

Ketentuan Allah

My dearest Khadijah,

One thing you must acknowledge in life is that, our path in life is part effort, and part "ketentuan" Allah SWT.  So, as much as you think you have done a great deal to achieve something, and think you deserve to get it, Allah alas knows what is best for you.

As such, don't despair if the ends to your work does not arrive, but rather be grateful, and move on to your next goal post.  Whether you realize it or not, Allah has better plans for His servants.

The more you understand this, the easier it is to move on and ponder less on what has happened.  Then you can truly be at peace with yourself and with others around you.

I know you are a beautiful part of the "ketentuan" that Allah has set for me and Baba.  And I know you are the reason why He only granted us a child after three years of trying.  Alhamdulillah.